Monday, October 22, 2012

Hiding Delusions

My brother is currently posting a series called, Delusions.  It is fascinating, and intriguing for people who didn't live it.  For my brothers and I it is a tale of stomach twisting truth.

I've tried to write this story many times before but the words always failed me.  Jason is a talented writer and he is doing a fantastic job.  I am proud of him! 

This is a long time secret.  No one outside of our immediate family (my brother and I) knows anything about it.  As children we didn't understand what mental illness was or that it even existed.  As we grew older, it dawned on us that the great religious beliefs my father had was faith disguised insanity.  We didn't tell others because my Dad hid things very well and he could convince people he was at the very worst, quirky.  And because in the end we love our Dad and we knew the torment it would cause him if he didn't have control of his little world.

Mental illness is isolating.  It thrives in secret.  The afflicted person is comfortable in his little world and does not want anyone interfering with it.  Only we were his children, and we interfered.  As a result, we were kept at a distance. 

Last week I placed my father in a psychiatric hospital.  Old age has made it more difficult to hide his insanity, so it became necessary for him to receive 24 hour care and medication to protect him from his delusions and hallucinations.  Now as an older person his mental illness is labeled as dementia.   I am doing my best to make sure he is cared for.  But as grown children, we keep my father at a distance.


terrah said...

You are an amazing lady Katrine. I'm so glad we are neighbors. Thank you for sharing more about yourself. Many wishes of peace to you!

Jason, as himself said...

And thank you for taking on the tremendous responsibility of making these big decisions and making sure he gets the care that he needs.

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