I looked deeply into John's eyes and asked him to take us on a peaceful Sunday drive. Actually, I begged him to take me away from the chaos of my children. I think I even used the phrase, "Save me!" We found a road in our little town that wound around a mountain into a hidden canyon. It was breathtaking! The road ended at a trail you could take on foot. I had worn my new tennis shoes instead of my flip flops, so we decided to take the trail.
It led us to an isolated area with trees that enveloped the path with an amazing view down the mountains and revealing the valley below. I was delighted to find a loud Sunday turning into a romantic date with my man! Suddenly John doubled over and began retching. Mood. Gone. "Are you okay?"
"I just ate a bug!" After a good laugh and discussing our favorite movie Overboard where Goldie Hawn's character eats a bug, we continued our romantic stroll through the woods. gag, snarf, retch, it continued. There is something my brothers and children know about me that they used to their advantage. People spitting and gagging makes me gag. Seriously, if you "hawk a loogie" around me I will upchuck. There's nothing pretty about it.
After more gagging John begins to snort through his nose. "I can feel it crawling around my nasal passages!" snort, snarf.
This is too much and I am totally going to throw up the Dr. Pepper I had been drinking. I began walking several feet ahead of John. "Hey, look at this! I got the bug out and it's still alive and crawling around in my saliva!"
"Can I (retch) go home to my kids now?"