Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Raw Emotions

It happens every year.  One would think I would prepare for the inevitable melt down.  But somehow I find myself surprised and unprepared for my attitude and actions.

The Christmas season has arrived and with it comes another anniversary of my mom's death.  It always takes me a few days to sort through my emotions and greet the upcoming events with happiness.

I owe my family an apology because while they decorated the tree I hid in my bed.  My husband and daughter built a box to put the tree on so it would be a taller tree.  It truly upset me.  Sure, I think the tree looks silly raised 2 feet off the floor.  But I also remember a time my mom put a Christmas tree on a table to keep my younger brothers Daniel and Ben from pulling off the ornaments.  A memory forgotten.

I need to process the emotions, change my attitude, and make it through another Christmas.


Paul said...

You have five siblings that you can process with. You are not alone in it. I had a little break down about mom last Christmas. I actually cried the first time in years. Kira was disappointed that she missed it because I went into the other room.

Jason said...

And John send me such a nice text message yesterday to call you because you were upset. And I let time get away from me and now here it is a day later and I still haven't called.

We each handle our grief differently. Your method seems logical and expected. Me? I just had a breakthrough the other day that I try so darn hard to control Christmas and every year I get frustrated and stressed when I don't succeed at controlling it...making it happen exactly the way I think it should happen. And I'm not normally a control freak.

I think it would be better if I just had a good cry every year.

I’m Letting Go « Squibs and Crackers said...

[...] 2009 by Katrine My brother recently wrote about letting go of controlling the Christmas cheer.  I let go a long time ago.  Sometimes letting go of the unnecessary can give you that deep breath of fresh air you need.  [...]

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