Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Raw Emotions

It happens every year.  One would think I would prepare for the inevitable melt down.  But somehow I find myself surprised and unprepared for my attitude and actions.

The Christmas season has arrived and with it comes another anniversary of my mom's death.  It always takes me a few days to sort through my emotions and greet the upcoming events with happiness.

I owe my family an apology because while they decorated the tree I hid in my bed.  My husband and daughter built a box to put the tree on so it would be a taller tree.  It truly upset me.  Sure, I think the tree looks silly raised 2 feet off the floor.  But I also remember a time my mom put a Christmas tree on a table to keep my younger brothers Daniel and Ben from pulling off the ornaments.  A memory forgotten.

I need to process the emotions, change my attitude, and make it through another Christmas.

3 comments:

Paul said...

You have five siblings that you can process with. You are not alone in it. I had a little break down about mom last Christmas. I actually cried the first time in years. Kira was disappointed that she missed it because I went into the other room.

Jason said...

And John send me such a nice text message yesterday to call you because you were upset. And I let time get away from me and now here it is a day later and I still haven't called.

We each handle our grief differently. Your method seems logical and expected. Me? I just had a breakthrough the other day that I try so darn hard to control Christmas and every year I get frustrated and stressed when I don't succeed at controlling it...making it happen exactly the way I think it should happen. And I'm not normally a control freak.

I think it would be better if I just had a good cry every year.

I’m Letting Go « Squibs and Crackers said...

[...] 2009 by Katrine My brother recently wrote about letting go of controlling the Christmas cheer.  I let go a long time ago.  Sometimes letting go of the unnecessary can give you that deep breath of fresh air you need.  [...]

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