Friday, November 7, 2008

How To Give A Toddler A Bath

1.  Inform toddler it's time for a bath.

2.  Laugh how cute he is running up the stairs.  He loves the bath.

3. Begin to fill tub.

4.  Turn and realize toddler is dumping bottle of shampoo on the floor.  Begin cleaning slimy, soapy mess.

5.  Turn and grab toddler before he throws turtle into the toilet.  "Who left the turtle on the floor?!"

6.  Hold turtle while waiting for guilty son to claim his turtle.  Demand that he thanks you for saving turtle's life.

7.  Toddler is now trying to climb in the tub.  He has successfully submerged one foot with shoe and sock in the water.

8. Force screaming toddler out of tub so you can remove his clothing.

9. Gratefully return screaming toddler to tub.

10. Wash toddler while he throws anything in sight into the water because he likes the splash.

11. Toddler likes to stand and throw himself into the water to make a bigger splash.

12.  Take clawing screaming child out of the bath because, "If you don't jumping in the water you will have to get out, it's not safe!"

13.  Dress toddler while dodging to miss feet, hands, and teeth he is trying to cause bodily harm with.

14.  Snuggle clean smelling, pajama wearing toddler, and forget the last 15 minutes.


laura said...

Are you freaking serious? I think you have sold me on never even thinking of wanting kids (not that i did anyway) but sheesh!! but i did laugh the whole way through this post and laughed at you because i could picture it. Kinda sounds like when Ray gives himself a bath.

Grandma J said...

what an active child! The simmering down and cuddle time is worth it.

Jason said...

So...are you having any more?

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