Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Lonely? I Know How To Make Friends

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I have a tried and true way to make friends.  It works every time. 

It starts with a lonely feeling.  The type of "No one loves me.  I don't have any friends.  I might as well go eat worms," type of feeling.  This feeling usually comes when I haven't been out of the house in days and the only adult contact I have is with my honey.  And we all know husbands don't count, right?  So, I decide it's time to get out and meet my public.  I'll dress nice and I'll put my make-up on carefully.  Bobbi Brown would be proud!

But I'll see no one, hear from no one, and no one is answering their phone.  I've even gone to our church's weekly play group and no one will show up!   All that make up wasted on a slide and some mulch.  I will proceed to Wal-Mart because that's where all the hip moms hang out.  Nada.  Zip.  No one.  Talk about being dressed up and no where to go!

So, after a few days of gorgeous behavior I'll get lazy.  And that my public, is when the friends will come out like the millions of ants that just feasted on a cereal box in my pantry.  They start calling, they are mass congregating at Wal-Mart, they stop by for a visit and I've gone all Courtney Cox without make-up.  And that is how I make friends.  They either take pity on me and they make me a friend as a service project.  Or they like to keep me around as the "fugly friend" so that they always look gorgeous.  I'm that kind of friend!

Proof Positive!  I've just been cleaning and changing diapers.  I haven't even looked in the mirror today.  And as I'm writing this, ding dong!  Friends are at the door!


Grandma J said...

They come out in droves because they love your inner beauty. The beauty that make-up hides. I talk to total strangers in Walmart. If someone paid me for every person I struck up a conversation with at Walmart, I'd be rich.

Kira said...

I have always said the same thing about myself...people like me because I make them seem more attractive, thin, and nice.

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