Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Pepto-Bismol Cost Me A Grand!


I had an appointment with my dentist today.  While driving there I began to have stomach pains.  It kept getting worse so I felt the need to pop a couple Pepto-Bismol.  Sadly, I carry chewable Pepto in my car for such emergencies.  As I chewed, I began to worry that my dentist would see the pink substance on my teeth.  How embarrassing would that be?!

I sat on the throne before I sat on the dental throne.  I think next time I will take a camera so I can take a picture of the restroom.  It is nicer than my house!  I used the Williams-Sonoma hand soap and lotion that retails for $49.95.  I finished by taking care to thoroughly rinsing my mouth.  I finished with the mouthwash  they so conveniently have for the patients in the lavatory.  There.  All traces of pink should be removed, and I have lovely mint breath.

Joy cleaned, scraped, and flossed my teeth to a shiny smooth finish.  She informed Dr. Fawcett with their high tech wireless, microphone, ear and mouth piece set, "Mrs. Judd is ready for you."  Like magic, the Dr. appears and greats me with his blindingly white smile. 

As he examines my teeth he says, "Have you been eating anything pink?"  I'm dying people!  I can't believe he discovered my bubble gum pink secret! 
"Um, I don't know."
"Whatever it was we should use it because it works great at highlighting any decay."
"Did you eat any candy?"
"Yeah, it was candy.  I had a sweet tart."  I can lie if pressed for information I don't want to divulge.
"Well, without it I would never have been able to see all these problems.  You will need 6 - 8 fillings."
"Are you serious?!"
My kind dentist began the lecture of how you need to nip the decay in the bud, blah, blah, blah!

After my session with the dentist they informed the front desk through the wireless walky talky thing, "Karen,  Mrs. Judd is coming to the front."  Why they inform everyone I'm coming I don't know.  It is seriously only 30 feet away!  The front desk gave me the figures for my Pepto induced cavities.  $989.00

Yes, that's right.  My dentist would have never found the decay if I didn't have an upset stomach.  The $3.99 package of pink power punches a price of $989.00, ya'll!

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

Oh, that sucks! I hate the dentist.

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