Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Dating Doody, Part II

A side note: If you would like to read the first part of my story begin with, My Date With Randy Travis. And a note, Jason is confusing my many roommates. There were so many you know! Jason was never roommates with Doody. That was Ashton. Maybe someday I’ll write about Ashton. But probably not.

As we emerged from the alley and the cemetery I began to fear for my life. Would I die at the hands of a fellow Fred Meyer employee? Suddenly Doody grabbed me around my waste and pulled me close. Before I could scream, he passionately kissed me. I was overwhelmed by the burst of emotions I felt swell within me! Was it possible that I did not see my true love in the eyes of Doody? Was my fate being sealed with a kiss from my very own prince charming? Aaak!!! Get that picture out. Of. My. Head!!!! Blech!!

Actually I don’t remember how we got out of the alley and back to my apartment. But I do remember wondering what was I supposed to do with Doody now that I had him? We decided on a movie. But I failed to think ahead that the only place to sit to watch TV was on my roommate's bed. So, we sat side by side until he positioned himself so he was lying on his stomach. Yeah, no. I slid to the floor so my back was to the bed and he was above my head. Suddenly I felt his tentacles fingers begin to rub my scalp. I actually like people to play with my hair. I find it quite soothing. But this was not a massage. This was more like the case of the body snatchers trying to suck my brain out through my scalp! It was creepy!

I excused myself to get a drink of water. Upon my return the body snatcher again looked for a snack! Was I supposed to find this endearing? Was this supposed to feel good?

I excused myself for a bathroom break. A very long break. Again he tried to steal my brain. I had enough! I told Doody I had an early class in the morning and sent him on his way! I wonder if he realized it was a Friday night so there were no classes on Saturday.

Doody arranged a few get togethers with friends at work where I would be invited and he would conveniently be there. It began to become more creepy when he began to tell everyone that Jason was his future brother-in-law. And then one day Doody didn’t show up to work. He missed the next day too. Finally he called Jason, remember he was the PIC. Doody refused to tell him why he hadn’t come to work except to say, “it was personal.” So Jason fired his future brother-in-law, Doody. I never considered until now that perhaps Jason fired him for the slim chance that he might one day marry into the family. It worked because I never saw Doody again.Kevin-bacon

Shortly after another fellow Fred Meyer employee came through my line. He reminded me of Kevin Bacon. Eventually, I married him.


Jason said...


Jason said...

Now that I've got that off my chest, can I just say that I have absolutely NO memory of Doody. Is it because I'm an old grandpa? Or are you making this up?

Grandma J said...

What a sweet ending. I was trying to picture what Doody was doing to your hair. Was it like those monkeys that like to pick through each others hair looking for stuff to eat?
Jason doesn't remember Doody because he was the PIC and probably had to fire people left and right.

kira said...

Oh my gosh...where you wrote tentacles and crossed it out, I thought you wrote testicles. I screamed, out loud, in an quiet house, all by myself.
Oh...gotta go...I think a neighbor heard it and just came over to check up on me...now how do I explain this to her?

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