Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Swimming With A Hydrophobic

ppbffhhhhhhhhhhhh! (that's me sticking my tongue out.)

Every summer my children beg to go swimming.  I don't take them as nearly as much as I should or that they want.  I just don't enjoy it.  Here's why:

Katrine (mommy, that's me)  Here's a little know fact about me.  I have a severe phobia of deep water.  In fact I think if I was hypnotized to bring up past lives I would find that I drowned on the Titanic.  But that's not possible because I don't believe in reincarnation.  But still.  So, swimming with my precious children in deep pools of water makes my heart beat faster.
It's also a lot of work to get ready.  First I must get myself ready by making sure I have done the proper hair removal.  And now that I'm not that cute little 20 year old, I have to decide which swimsuit will flatter my good side.  That would be my neck.  I have a lovely neck.
Then I must help the other little ones find their swimsuits.  Have you ever put sunblock on 4 kids?  It takes forevah!!!! 
Finally I must load the bag with towels, water, pacifier, sippy cup, pool toys, etc.

Madison:  At 10:45 am I give her the 10 minute warning to get out of bed and get ready for the pool.  She attempts to stay in bed but I warn her that if she doesn't come I will leave her with a list of jobs.  She has her swimsuit on in seconds and then she spends the next 9 minutes doing her makeup.  Why?  She claims that it's better than being without it despite the fact that it's running down her face after she's in the water.
It's very convenient that her friends and the boy she likes shows up.  How does that happen?  She's been grounded from her cell phone and she only had a 10 minute warning to get in the car! 

Cameron:  This boy has become a fish!  He loves the swimming thing.  And Cameron doesn't love much of anything.  It's hard to get that boy to go anywhere unless it's Karate or the pool.

Ethan:  My poor Ethan.  I keep my phobia hidden from my children.  In fact, Madison didn't figure it out until last year.  But unfortunately, Ethan has inherited my hydrophobia!  But today he actually wore floaties!  And he let go of the side of the pool!  He wanted me close to him at all times but that was difficult because of the 18 month old.

Devin:  He's not a fan of the water either.  He does like to float on his back.  We think he likes to hear the water in his ears.  He gets the cutest and goofiest smile on his sweet face as he rides the waves.  Devin also likes to stand on the step in everyone's way.  He likes to kick and stomp with his feet in order to make big splashes.  He likes it so much that he screams when you remove him from the water to try to help his big brother with his floaties.  Or if the lifeguards call adult swim.  Or if the little girl wants her beach ball back.  Yeah, the screams coming from his little body were fun.  Just ask the lifeguards, my friends and neighbor, and the other swimmers.  It was just fun..............not!

So, that is why swimming is not my favorite past time.  Is there no wonder why I'm a mountain girl and not a beach babe?


kira said...

You poor thing...I can't imagine being scared of something that all of you kids want you to do.
You are so right on the sunscreen...I swear my mom having to put sunscreen on everyone took longer than any other preparation for anything.
and I hope Maddie didn't get too much mascara in her eyes.

Grandma J said...

I also had a fear of drowning as a youngster, I was forced to learn when my parents bought a home with a pool. By forced I mean my father literally gave us instructions to "learn" because every evening when he came home from work we were thrown in the deep end of the pool!
I love swimming now and all four of my kids swam around the same time as they learned how to walk.
Just a suggestion, get lessons from the Y. Especially for the young ones. Kids learn fast and get over the fear...except for your one boy who is already a fish!
Ok, that's my PSA for the week! :)

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