Monday, April 21, 2008

Warning: Washing Dishes May Cause Spontaneous Contusions

It's a new condition that I know you wish you had!  I discovered this medical problem as I was hand washing those dishes that you can't wash in the dishwasher but wish you could.  As I plunged my hand into the soft, soapy suds I felt a sharp pain in my middle finger.  I lifted up my hand to discover that it was turning purple.  As I gazed at this lovely shade of lilac, it began to swell.  Seriously!  I watched my knuckle  grow as fast as Devin's quiet babble can turn into ear piercing wales that make my brain spin in my head.

How odd!  I don't remember hurting it.  I was simply touching dishsoap bubbles!  I tried to finish the job while ignoring my ever growing finger.  It hurt to bend the joint so this task was made more difficult.

My finger began to throb if I let my it drop.  So, for the rest of the evening I walked around with my elbow bent and my hand up towards my face.  It made the night more challenging as I fulfilled my motherly duties.  You try changing a baby's diaper with an unbendable and undroppable finger!  The task is already difficult because said baby instantly arches his back, throws his hips from side to side, and screams as if you are forcing him to go through the birth canal once again.  I do believe he thinks the birthing descent would be much more enjoyable than getting a clean bum!

I went to sleep with my hand resting on my forehead.  This was the only position that gave me relief and allowed sleep to come.  In the morning my finger no longer hurt.  But it bore a purple dis colorization for the next several days.  I think my bottle of antibacterial apple blossom Dawn should have a warning label that reads, "Washing dishes may cause spontaneous contusions!"

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