My sister-in-law, Kira, wrote Urinary Confessions yesterday. You must not miss it! All 3 of you! She will leave you laughing so hard that you will be reaching for that water bottle to relieve yourself.
Kira has inspired me to confess my own bladder weakness. Child birth has been brutal on the old urinary tract. There have been times I made John pull over for potty breaks despite the fact that my children were holding strong. There was also the time I made my brother ask his ex-wife's ex-husband's wife if I could come into her house and use her bathroom. It was either be embarrassed or have a car to clean!
I was two weeks from my daughter's due date. On my way out the door to work I lumbered to the bathroom so that I could drive the two miles to work. I did my business. If you don't know what I mean by business, give it a minute and think about it. Okay, back to the pregnant woman on the toilet. As I was pulling up my pants a hot, steady, unrelenting stream rushed all over my knit black pants.
"John, John, I think my water just broke!"
Before rushing to the hospital to give birth to my first child, we called everyone we knew. First, work of course to let them know I wouldn't be coming. My mom who immediately started hyperventilating. John's parents. All of our siblings which totals 10, plus their spouses. It was important that everyone knew that my water broke!
We arrived at the hospital announcing, "My water broke! It was all over the place. I must be in labor." They hooked me up, monitored me, and ran tests only to announce,
"Honey, you're not in labor. That little baby of yours just gave your bladder a big old kick!"
I was slightly embarrassed. John was mortified. After all, we had bothered all the nurse's, doctor's, employers, and family with my false labor. How dare I!
Madison did arrive one week later, and labor did not even begin with my water breaking.