Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I Said I Would Never Wear Crocs

But then I didn't know I would get pregnant. It seems at 37 weeks I have developed severe edema in my feet. My feet and ankles are so swollen that it makes me physically ill to even look at them. And they feel absolutely horrible.

Soon enough I outgrew all of my shoes. I was down to my last pair of shoes, and they were getting tight. I was told that crocs would be the perfect solution because they are wide and very comfortable. In my misery I was willing to give the ugly shoes a try. I went to the store and found a pair of black ones. If I was going to break my word I would like to do it in a subtle color and not vibrant pink or green. They worked! And even better they were slip ons! I don't have to try to reach my feet. Because let's face it, I can't even see my feet! I made sure to buy one size larger than I normally wear. I wore those fugly things all day yesterday and my feet felt light as a feather.


Photobucket - Video and Image HostingSee my new black crocs? Oh yeah, you can't see them past my belly that everyone likes to tell me looks like it's going to pop!


Here they are!Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


I woke up this morning and got ready for my son's Christmas party. I was going to wear one of the few remaining shirts I have that are big enough to cover my expanding girth. And I was feeling very fashionable because the top was in black to match my new crocs.


I daintily slid on my crocs. Who am I kidding? Nothing at 37 weeks is dainty. What's this? Something seems to be wrong with my "one size larger for future growing" shoes! They won't go on. I cannot believe this! I outgrew an entire shoe size overnight! This is simply not right!!! After much negotiating, cursing, and pain, I was able to force my sausage size toes into the crocs and hobble out to my car.


But there is something interesting about crocs. The foam material, or whatever that stuff is, seems to expand with heat. As my body temp warmed up the insides of the faddy shoes, they seemed to expand.


It's a Christmas miracle! Because of the strange substance that crocs are made out of I am able to go in public with shoes!


So, consider this a public service announcement for pregnant women everywhere. If all else fails, wear crocs.


And I still stand by my word that men should never wear crocs. Never.


Public Service Announcement: In order for all to understand my suffering and agony, I have decided to just let it be seen. The following picture is not for young children. Do not view if you there are minors in the room. Keep scrolling if you have a strong stomach!





Scarey picture ahead.






I warned you.






May I present






Kankles!
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

6 comments:

 Anonymous said...

Just when I thought you couldn't get any funnier! Your blog is the best! Big BroPS-Happy birthday! Love you lots.

 Anonymous said...

Just when I thought you couldn't get any funnier! Your blog is the best! Big BroPS-Happy birthday! Love you lots.

 Anonymous said...

Just when I thought you couldn't get any funnier! Your blog is the best! Big BroPS-Happy birthday! Love you lots.

 Anonymous said...

I really thought you were exaggerating about the size of your ankles. I feel for you! Of course you have had the baby now so hopefully they are back to normal!!! Tracey

 Anonymous said...

I really thought you were exaggerating about the size of your ankles. I feel for you! Of course you have had the baby now so hopefully they are back to normal!!! Tracey

 Anonymous said...

I really thought you were exaggerating about the size of your ankles. I feel for you! Of course you have had the baby now so hopefully they are back to normal!!! Tracey

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