Thursday, December 14, 2006

The Bigger They Are, The Harder They Fall

Last night was quite tragic in the life of me. In my attempts to be a wonderful mother I was trying to gather the materials needed for Christmas teacher gifts. I wanted something cute but inexpensive because moving to a new house, Christmas, and a new baby has depleted our financial resources. Thanks to Heather I had plans to copy her idea of giving a sugar cookie mix with a poem. The only thing I wanted to add was a cute little Christmas cookie cutter.

It sounds simple enough right? Well Wal-Mart has everything under the sun except cookie cutters. I tried the dollar store and again, nothing. Although I never realized how many people do their Christmas shopping at the Dollar Store. Finally, I decided to waddle my pregnant self over to Target. Normally I would have probably given up by now. But I was feeling the Christmas spirit and I was in a pretty good mood.


Target had cookie cutters in the Dollar section! Not only did they have cookie cutters, but they were located just inside the door! I did not need to walk around the store with my poor swollen feet that only fit into flip flops. Joy of joys! But on further inspection I realized that I couldn't distinguish all of the shapes of the cookie cutters. There were five in a package. I could see the star, gingerbread man, and candy cane. But was that the angel of the Lord or a House? And was that a snow man or a bowling pin. I decided I certainly couldn't give away cookie cutters that had no distinguishable characteristics.


So the search continued through Target. Just me coming slowly behind the belly, and my water balloon feet stuffed into my little green flip flops. (and I do mean stuffed. just picture the thin straps of my flip flops being enveloped by swollen flesh) I found a Target associate. I was pleasantly surprised to see that she was sweet and actually walked me over to the cookie cutters. They were cute and exactly what I needed! The friendly associate went on her way and I took a quick little walk through the ornaments.


As I was leaving the store I saw her again and thanked her for her help. I was almost to the checkout counters when suddenly I hit the floor. Hard! I was on the floor before I even knew I was falling! At first I was stunned and then mortified! I saw under me there was a dribble of a brown liquid. Because I can't see anything under me I didn't see the potential of danger from someone's spilt drink. And my thin flip flops definately did not have any traction to stop me from falling.


Have you ever seen a 8 1/2 month pregnant woman pick herself off the floor? It's not pretty. First she must roll over so that she is on all fours like a four legged animal. And then she will lift one knee into a half kneeling position. And finally she will brace both hands on this knee while she heaves herself into the standing postion. Believe me, it's not pretty. Thankfully, a kind lady came from the perimeter of people that were watching me and helped me up so that I did not have to assume the downward dog position. A few nice ladies asked if I was okay and I said I was fine. I gathered those stupid cookie cutters and continued on my way.


That's when the pain began. The main location of pain was from my midsection, down and under the belly, and down my left leg. Dang! That hurts! And the tears began. And it wasn't a lovely little tear drop sliding down the cheek. Oh no, I was in the full ugly bawling cry.


As I was buying the $4.99 cookie cutters I told the check out lady what had happened. I quickly became aware that when no one had been standing next to me in the checkout, now there was a line of about 8 people watching me sob as I held the green and red cookie cutters. Where did all these people come from! Can't I be a basket case in private!! The head cashier was called and she had me go sit in Starbucks. I wasn't there very long, but it was long enough for me to stop crying and then consider walking out. Finally, the manager appeared. I saw by his name tag that his name was John. He asked me what had happened. Crying again. I told him I fell on a spilt drink and that I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant. He said, "Yes I can see that!" Dork. He asked me if I was okay. I was fine, boo hoo, more crying. He asked me if he could get me a drink.


I don't know what I expected from the Target people. Maybe an accident report. I've worked enough retail to know that accident reports should be filled out. Maybe they should offer to call my husband. Maybe they should ask for my name and number to see that I made it home okay. Maybe I didn't want anything. I was just mad because I was hurt, embarrassed, and he wanted to get me a brown liquid that began this episode in the first place!


And now I'm afraid to leave my house alone. Seriously. I am just going to stay in this house until this baby is born.


Photobucket - Video and Image HostingI made it home, cried some more to John. (secretly I hoped he would call Target and yell at them) And after a while I put the little gifts together. They turned out pretty cute. Thanks for the idea Heather!


Photobucket - Video and Image HostingMy oldest brother Jason sent me a little something in the mail. The card says, "As we mark the tenth year since mom's death, I'd like it if we could all do something symbolic in her memory and to promote breast cancer awareness. Would you please put these magnets on your cars during the month of December? Even though we're all in five different states, I would like knowing that we're alld oing the same thing." So, thank you Jason for my magnet. Jason also sent a link where you can help fund breast cancer screenings for women. Just click here! In fact, click it everyday!


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting And look at this weird weather we are having. It is so weird to see fog roll through here! I'm just trying to pretend it's snow!

6 comments:

 Anonymous said...

You could so sue their a**es off!But I know you're not that kind of a person. I'm just glad you and the baby are okay! That is the scary part.Thanks for writing about the breast cancer magnets!Love you!Big Bro

 Anonymous said...

You could so sue their a**es off!But I know you're not that kind of a person. I'm just glad you and the baby are okay! That is the scary part.Thanks for writing about the breast cancer magnets!Love you!Big Bro

 Anonymous said...

You could so sue their a**es off!But I know you're not that kind of a person. I'm just glad you and the baby are okay! That is the scary part.Thanks for writing about the breast cancer magnets!Love you!Big Bro

 Anonymous said...

Breast Cancer magnetsCommon Breast Cancer MythsThe first myth pertaining to this disease is that it only affects women.Second myth that is associated with this disease is that if one has found a lump during an examination, it is cancer.Third is that it is solely hereditaryThe next myth associated with breast cancer is downright ridiculous. Would you believe, that in this day and age, some individuals still think that breast cancer is contagious?Conversely, some individuals foolishly believe that breast size determines whether or not one gets cancer.Finally, another myth that is associated with this disease is that it only affects older people. This is not so. Although the chance of getting breast cancer increases with age, women as young as 18 have been diagnosed with the disease.You can find a number of helpful informative articles on Breast Cancer magnets at breast-cancer1.comBreast Cancer magnets

 Anonymous said...

Breast Cancer magnetsCommon Breast Cancer MythsThe first myth pertaining to this disease is that it only affects women.Second myth that is associated with this disease is that if one has found a lump during an examination, it is cancer.Third is that it is solely hereditaryThe next myth associated with breast cancer is downright ridiculous. Would you believe, that in this day and age, some individuals still think that breast cancer is contagious?Conversely, some individuals foolishly believe that breast size determines whether or not one gets cancer.Finally, another myth that is associated with this disease is that it only affects older people. This is not so. Although the chance of getting breast cancer increases with age, women as young as 18 have been diagnosed with the disease.You can find a number of helpful informative articles on Breast Cancer magnets at breast-cancer1.comBreast Cancer magnets

 Anonymous said...

Breast Cancer magnetsCommon Breast Cancer MythsThe first myth pertaining to this disease is that it only affects women.Second myth that is associated with this disease is that if one has found a lump during an examination, it is cancer.Third is that it is solely hereditaryThe next myth associated with breast cancer is downright ridiculous. Would you believe, that in this day and age, some individuals still think that breast cancer is contagious?Conversely, some individuals foolishly believe that breast size determines whether or not one gets cancer.Finally, another myth that is associated with this disease is that it only affects older people. This is not so. Although the chance of getting breast cancer increases with age, women as young as 18 have been diagnosed with the disease.You can find a number of helpful informative articles on Breast Cancer magnets at breast-cancer1.comBreast Cancer magnets

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